The Appleseed Cast
A couple years ago, Denny and I were speaking at a church, and at the end of the night, we opened the floor to questions. One young woman asked, “Why is it that depression sometimes feels like a friend?”
It took us a minute or two to get to the heart of the question, but there was a poetry in that pain. “Why is it that I cannot separate myself from the very thing that is taking the most from me?”
It reminds me of the show LOST and the character Hurley, who had a “friend” named Dave. Dave didn’t want Hurley to get better. Dave told Hurley that if his counselor or family really loved him, they wouldn’t try to change him.
I think there is truth in the value of knowing what makes you “you”—identifying the aspects of your essence that the world needs more of. That being said, life is progress. Life is change. Life is a dance. We enter the world as infants, already changing and growing day-by-day into toddlers. That line blurs into childhood, which gives way to adolescence, tween, terror, teen, legal, adult, mid-life, old-timer… Nature is a trend toward change.
You deserve the opportunity to change, and sometimes that means separating yourself from the things that hold you back. I know that isn’t easy, and it may feel like a break-up of sorts, but your life is a song that is worth the fight.
Your eating disorder—it doesn’t love you.
Your drugs and your drinks—they don’t love you.
Your misplaced pride and status—they hope you never change.
Your self-injury—it doesn’t give a damn about your heart.
Your depression—it takes no stock in your potential, in your dreams.
Your abusive relationship—it fears the day you find your voice.
We want you to change. No, we don’t mean “change who you are because it’s not good enough.” But take ownership of this life and one day live with less fear. You can stoke the fires of courage in others. You can take the moments that “should have been gold” for you and polish them for someone else.
We stand in the gap, just on the other side. We are waving you on to safe passage. Rest is not found in us, but we find fight and beauty and inspiration and springtime and laughter and warm embraces and stories in you. We see in you a great potential for change. This isn’t just about “getting better”; it’s about turning pages in your story. We are reading with our noses inches from the page, enveloped in you and all you have to offer.
So join me in saying to Depression, Addiction, Self-injury, Suicidal Thoughts, Eating Disorders—“Take your troubles solo. This is the end of you and me.”